Top Chef Masters - Ketchup! Volume 2

For my next Top Chef Masters Ketchup Edition, and in honor of the all-sausage lineup of "Pub Food", I would like to very masculinely recite for you a poem, in the meter of Robert Frost's Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening:

Six gather'd men from the show's past
Chefs whose first trip did not long last
Again before the critics go
Much dudely talent is amassed

Dufresne and Bowles, that ball of dough
Waxman is chef at Barbuto
Peel and Moonen, his evil twin
And Ludo--"impresario"?

The Quickfire gets a minor spin
Pick vodka pairings (I'd choose gin
But Stoli coughed up sponsor bucks
And Charlotte Voisey inspires sin)

Though Ludo's ego comes by truck,
And Moonen's shortcake doesn't suck,
Waxman's small bites have the good luck
Of pleasing Housewives (what the fuck?)


Elimination stays in-pub
And, further wearing down the nub,
Tasks the chefs to create cuisine
From humble British tavern grub

Dry bangers dull poor Wylie's sheen
Un-Irish stew makes Ludo mean
Peel's toad-in-hole sees pudding fail
Graham flails to keep his kidneys clean

With seafood skill to class up whale,
Rick's fish and chips were no tall tale
And calm like Gandalf or the Dude
Jon's shepherd's pie also prevails

With rhyme as just a passing mood
I know I gave short shrift to food
Lateness means my recaps are skewed
There's one to go; don't think me rude.