What do you mean, honey? Of COURSE I love our kids.

Perhaps you saw these commercials during yesterday's football-ganza.

They're from Jared--you know, the Galleria of Jewelry. It appears to be some kind of bracelet that the enterprising husband can customize with baubles, spacers, gems, and charms. The charms shown on the commercial include a suitcase, perhaps if your wife is an avid traveler. There's also a stroller, which I can only assume is to represent the wonderful child(ren) you've had with your wife.

So you design this bracelet, you select all these charms that signify important moments in your life with the woman you love, and Jared puts it in a box for you to give to her. The name of this line of charm jewelry in that box?


As in, the mythological first woman who opened the box (jar, actually, but who's quibbling with modern colloquialisms?) that had contained all the world's ills, thus releasing them to wreak havoc on humanity. So now that, and a kinda cheap looking bracelet. Jared must not expect a lot of literate wives to get these or see the commercial and ask for one.

Something tells me, though, that this is meant to be a gift outlet for the creatively-bulletless American male. Brother, you better have a back-up plan in case your wife remembers any of her Greek history from college.