Project Runway: Runnin' down a dream

I must have woken up in some far flung future last night, because the episode of Project Runway I saw was nothing like the episodes earlier this season. First of all, it was all post-apocalyptic and Mad Max-ish. Then, all the weirdos were kind of acting like normal humans.

Really, did Bravo put something in the water at Atlas?

I missed the first ten minutes because I wasn't feeling well, and I haven't been feeling well today either, thus the delay in getting this out. But that's a blessing and a curse because I got to see those first ten minutes in the mid-afternoon replay!

Also, in case anyone wonders why I predict anything about upcoming challenges, it's because I'm steadfastly avoiding the full-season Bravo-approved spoilage. (I'm also, incidentally, trying my best to boycott EW.com for putting LOST spoilers on the front page...see a couple posts ago).

The challenge is to take Saturn car parts (fortunately, mostly the cloth ones, rather than brake drums and fan belts) and make an outfit out of them. Tim says it's a second chance at the first challenge, whose call to extreme innovation went mostly unheeded. Keith's got no do-rag, Kenley's wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and Blayne is speaking in mostly complete and non-nonsensical English. I just don't know how to process this.

Lots of folks are grabbing seat belts. Who'da thunk that Korto and Stella would be using the same base material? Is Suede going to shave Suede's blue 'hawk next? Although to be fair, Suede's toned down the third-person to almost non-existent. And Stella, it sounded to me like you called it "muslim" rather than "muslin." Sweetie, you got it wrong.

Keith's all down on himself and passive-aggressively taking it out on everyone else including the judges. Looks to me like he's falling on his own sword to show everyone how awesome he used to be.

I guess this is our last goodbye
And you don't care, so I won't cry
But you'll be sorry when I'm dead
And all this guilt will be on your head
I guess you'd call it suicide
But I'm too full to swallow my pride


And I'd like to ask, where did Bravo find the models for this season? They're generally pretty boring, and now two have bailed on their designers! Kenley loses hers this time, and it's so matter-of-fact that I can't imagine it wasn't expected or planned. If not, it's hard to believe that a model would be so cavalier about an assignment like Project Runway.

Tim visits, and it's back to my Twilight Zone theory. He's liking way too many of these looks! So few "I'm concerned"s! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? Tim latches on immediately to Jerell's vision; he completely understands Leanne's look; he thinks Korto's coat-dress (which I was getting worried would look like the lead smock you get at the dentist) is 60's-era fab. He leaves by telling the designers that he's very happy; I'd say so, given what kind of a turnaround this is from previous weeks.

Terri gets a little sassy to Korto, playfully. Jerell has a pretty great call-out in confessional. "She's got two faces and four patterns. That's it. Don't trust the bitch." What the hell, am I liking Jerell now too? I'm certainly not liking Keith, who thinks that he deserves to win PR more than anyone else, even though he acknowledges that they all feel that way. Ugh. What a tool.

Personal interlude: Stella's boyfriend goes by the lovely moniker "Ratbones." Is anyone surprised?

With that, we come to show day. Keith gets all the waaaaahlibi he'll need when his model sits in his high-waisted seat belt skirt and tears a stitch right up the front (those goddamned stylists!). While Keith literally demeans the models, Leanne only seems to--the saddlebags she gives her model are a pretty daring silhouette, and Leanne's giggle (damn it, it's true, I like her now) tells us she knows it.

I'd love to know to whom Tim was directing that under-the-breath remark when the designers and models left the workroom. "Sexy..." For now, my runway thoughts will have to do!
  • Jerell: Oh, Mrs. Simpson, you are looking very prosperous today. Might I interest you in some of our impulse items here by the cash register? Perhaps a crazy pseudo-futuristic hairstyle. Oh, look at... the craziness.
  • Keith: ZZZ....the hem is horrible.
  • Terri: Decent, but pants again. Now I'm starting to get annoyed.
  • Kenley: The model looks like a car cigarette lighter.
  • Leanne: YES. The bustline is tremendous.
  • Suede: Kinda cool. Good movement on the skirt.
  • Korto: Impressive workmanship. A solid effort.
  • Blayne: The glass is interesting, but the fit looks poor.
  • Joe: WAY too similar to his Olympic look. Not a loser, not a winner.
  • Stella: The model is moving awfully slow. The seat belts are puckering in the back and the front. Not cohesive.

Michael and guest judge Rachel Zoe (who?) sit flanking Season 3's Laura, who provides almost no worthwhile commentary in filling in for Nina. They hold Jerell, Keith, Leanne, Korto, Blayne and Stella for judgment. Once again, Suede is safe with no commentary. He's got to start making his move, or he's gonna get Kit Pistolled.

The judges (useless Laura excepted) provide the expected commentary. Jerell went over the top, but for a solid concept and with good craftsmanship. Blayne had a good enough idea, but failed in fit and overall execution (and Germans...jeez, Heidi, 7 years of no sex? Is that what Germany defines as "bad luck"?). Korto's coat-dress has tons of class and shows a strong sense of self-editing (definitely one of Korto's best features in this competition). Leanne gets perhaps the most effusive praise, as her dress is called chic and her silhouette, proportion, craft, and daring are all lauded. Stella, on the other hand, is obviously outside of her comfort zone and it shows in her look's total lack of identity.

And Keith. Poor, abused Keith. He accuses the judges of going past criticism and into the realm of insult with the "sad chicken" remark from last week. He blames his model for his look's sloppy finish. No one gets him, and he even tries to rope Laura into buying his lament. No such luck. Doesn't he know she's the ice queen? Michael basically tells him to hike up his skirt. Keith is so far into his own head, he's got to be gone.

The judges commune, and it's looking like a duel between Korto's slick repurposing of a very utilitarian material, and Leanne's flawless risk-reward gamble. On the bottom...well, let's just say that Michael busts out an "insane" in describing Keith's work. That's never good.

Leanne does indeed win, and Korto looks mildly annoyed. I think. She's kinda hard to read. But when Keith gets the boot, he's very easy to read. He makes a big show of his tears "forcing" their way out, despite his manly protestations of toughness. "This is what fashion means to me," he sobs. Look at what you made me do, you Luddites! Yeah, bye, angry Mormon.

Even with the spoiler, giving the designers a shot at Diane von Furstenberg is a pretty big re-ward. I'm guessing no immunity will be on the line.