Ever wonder how a guy becomes first a prison librarian, and then a food critic? Well if you find out, please let me know because otherwise my biography is basically going to be a big damn picture of me shrugging.

I grew up in the Fox River Valley, and moved to Madison in 2003 with my then-girlfriend. We got married in 2009 after over 11 years of dating. What can I say, I run a mean long con.

After a good six months of commuting between Oshkosh and Madison, I took the reins of the library at the Oakhill Correctional Institution. It's a minimum-security mens' prison -- though it has an electrified fence, which has inspired the inmates to dub Oakhill "Superminimum." It's a pretty chill place for a prison.

A casual inquiry into writing jobs at Isthmus, Madison's alt-weekly newspaper, turned into a gig as a food columnist. I started writing the web-only Fringe Foods feature column in late 2007, and within a year I was writing full restaurant reviews for the print edition. I'll be honest, it's no way to make a living, but it's a hell of a way to live.

So here I am, freelance writing and checking out books to felons. You may think I'm a long way off from being King of All Madison Media, but what can I say, I run a mean long con.